Showing up imperfectly

Showing up imperfectly: this is a really juicy one for me at the moment, as it is for a lot of us.

What do I mean by showing up imperfectly?

To me, it means noticing the narrative that says that I have to show up / create / do something perfectly (yep, doesn’t exist), or not at all. An all or nothing. An impossible all or nothing as one of them doesn’t exist!

This is feeling very present in several areas in my life at the moment. Two that are especially present me with opportunities to feel into this are my business and my new intimate relationship.

Feeling into and shifting my relationship with this narrative is an important next step after noticing it. I find that it doesn’t serve me to try to banish it completely or to put my energy into fighting it.

Instead, I try to acknowledge why it’s there and to remember how I’ve believed it’s served me in the past, aiming for perfectionism. This helps to let go of it a little, to shift the relationship, or loosen the grip.

Recognising the ways in which this old narrative hasn’t, and doesn’t, serve me is also part of the picture.

Practicing self-compassion is an essential part of the process. Compassion towards the part of me that is worried about not being good enough. Compassion towards the part of me that worries about what people might think. Compassion towards the part of me that worries about rejection.

Being with the knowledge that I am WHOLE and I am of VALUE. There’s a purposeful full stop after that. An enormous support for me in showing up imperfectly is reminding myself of this fact. That, despite the cultural narratives that surround us, which equate our value with our productivity and the ‘greatness’ of our output, we are whole and we are of value simply because we exist.

And action. Small or big, action helps to prove this old narrative wrong.

Let me take a moment to share with you two examples of how this has shown up for me recently.

Firstly, writing this blog.

Despite loving writing, I mean deep-in-my-soul loving it, I have spent so much time shying away from writing, especially in my workspace. I have so much to say and to share and have also been so held back by the fears I outlined above.

And I’ve sat in deep frustration with this. Frustration with myself, frustration with the ways in which I know this is holding me back. Frustration that I’m not honouring that part of myself, or connecting and serving people in one of the ways that I want to and know that I can.

And so… I’m working to shift my relationship with this all or nothing narrative of perfectionism that has been in place around my writing.

I’m working on showing up here imperfectly on a regular basis.

I sit here now writing this, and feeling very aware that this is not perfect. I feel it in my being, a little tightness in my throat and an itch to procrastinate, to look at everything, or anything other than this.

So, in combination with the supportive practice above:

  1. I move my body. I dance and introduce some flow to my body before I sit down to write

  2. I light a candle next to my laptop: a declaration of my intention to put energy into this process

  3. I have one acoustic no-words song on repeat

  4. I’m writing this in a London Writers’ Salon session, so I’m aware of the energy of others working around me

  5. I’m part of a Caroline Leon’s Business Mentorship, grateful for the consistency and accountability that provides. I’ll be sure to post this before we next meet.

  6. Any time a thought about what other people might write here, and I feel the sneaky meanness of comparison on my shoulder, I thank it and tell it to sit to the side while I do my thing. Instead, I’m choosing to acknowledge the wonderful work of the people I’m thinking of, including Vix Anderton, who does incredible work on perfectionism.

  7. I remember why I’m doing this, and what may follow:

  • The possible connections with people who read this and with whom it resonates

  • The enjoyment of the sense of ease and flow that I feel in my body as I allow the process to unfold

  • A feeling of pride in myself and gratitude that I’ve done it

8. I celebrate afterwards!

A second example: being with my work when I’m pre-menstrual


I’m tired. I’m pre-menstrual, I’m feeling a bit ‘meh’. And I have 1:1 clients. Part of me feels that I don’t want to coach, I’m feeling quite insular and part of me doesn’t want to because I’m not feeling on top form. I’m feeling VERY imperfect.

I could beat myself up for this. I could reschedule (which I do if I’m properly sick).

Or, I can commit to showing up AS I AM.

IMPERFECT.

So, I chose imperfect. I had my snuggly blanket around me, I had some more downtime in between sessions, I was kind to myself that I wasn’t feeling on top form.

And you know what, I still served my clients well. And I served them far better than my mind might have told me I was going to.

I love my job and am deeply committed to my clients. And I’m enjoying showing up imperfectly. It’s not an easy one, but my goodness, it feels freeing when I let it happen.

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I’m going to leave this piece here as it is: imperfect! And something to return to.

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I wonder if this has resonated with you? I’d love to hear your thoughts, feedback and ideas

Rowena Gerrett